Saturday, October 14, 2006

Elfaldig has risen...

After the marathon family sleep to avoid the bad luck of Friday the 13th, the Enfaldig family woke up this morning at 9.23AM. When asked how he felt,

'I feel quite releived that as a family we have been able to ward off all bad luck'


Today is a special day in the house. The house needs to be painted back to its normal colours and then Liguana will make a big dinner. The family wears special clothes. Enfaldig claims it is made of Unicorn feathers. The head of the family wears the Unicorn horn. Which in this case is Enfaldig himself. It has been passed down the family for generations.

Enfaldig claims that he has a few Unicorns that grow feathers. Neighbors claim they are just country donkeys that dress up as chicken every friday the 13th. And the dokeys say, Ïf Enfaldig can behave like a donkey, why can't we behave like him?'

Friday, October 13, 2006

Enfaldig will not live on Friday the 13th!

New statistics from the Swedish Rescue Services Agency (SRSA) show that sometimes superstitions are well founded: when the thirteenth day of the month falls on a Friday, Sweden is a slightly riskier place to be.

"More accidents do happen," a police spokesman told Svenska Dagbladet.

This obviously has been bothering the Enfaldig family. The entire last week he and Liguana have been seen worried in the small town. The pressure on Enfaldig from the family has been high. Still, he has managed to find a way around it.

'vi vill inte åka den 13. För den dagen betyder otur' he said.

He plans for him and the family to go to sleep on the 12th night and not wake up at all on the 13th. Instead wake up on the 14th. He has even painted the inside of his house black. No light, no TV. Even the window blinds have been pulled down and painted black. This is for those that unknowingly wake up on the 13th. The idea is that they think it is night.

His family is very proud of him. His mother said, 'Sverige är stolt över dej'

Enfaldig said, 'Jag vill även bevisa för resten av världen att vi svenskar är smarta och kan ta oss ur jobbiga situationer'

Good Night Enfaldig...Not sure Sweden agrees with you...

Monday, October 09, 2006

New Name...

Enfaldig and wify have decided to give their home a name. When asked why, his point was that most famous people had names for their houses. He pointed out 'Graceland' the home of the King of Rock and Roll. The name they have choosen is 'Halva Vägen' . Simply meaning Halfway House!!!

The Idiots Guide..

Enfaldig is said to be writing another book. It is all about his life experiences and lessons. It has been dedicated to all those 'special'people in Sweden. The title of the new book is, 'An Idiots guide to be an idiot'.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Family of Inventors..

Elfaldig, is still trying to claim royalty from quite a few manufacturers of toilet seats from around the world. He believes, his ancestors invented the toilet seat. He recently gave a public statement to that effect. When reporters contacted the manufacturers of Twyford. They too seem to agree with Enfaldig. " Absolutely, there seems to be strong evidence that the toilet seat was invented by a te Flon ancestor and used only by the family, until sometime during the 18th century, we modified it by including a hole in it". Well, no dispute, there!!!!

When the Romance began...

In the mid eighties, Enfaldig was courting his soon to be wife. The young couple sat in the hall of the girl's house night after night, much to the annoyance of the girls old man. One night he couldn"t take any more. Standing at the top of the stairs, he yelled down, "What's that young fella doin' here all hours of the night?" "Why, Dad, " said Leguna, "Enfaldig was just telling me everything that's in his heart!" "Well, next time, " roared the old, "just let him tell you what's in his head, and it won't take half as long!"

This joke is always related by Enfaldig when he has a little too much to drink...poor chap yet, does not get it. His father-in-law still is waiting to know what he uses his head for. Some claims say, that Enfaldig uses his head to keep his ears apart. Enfaldig is very proud when he hears this.

Enfaldig's gluten woes...

Besides being special, Enfaldig has issues with Gluten. The man cannot eat most things that normal people eat. But being the hyprocondriac that he is, just about everything freaks the bugger out. He actally believes that he will die if he eats food with Gluten. Well, it is a fact that things can get quite uncomfortable and nasty. His entire family is known to have something to claim glory. The son - who looks like a decayed tooth and being special and the soon to be CEO/Chairman of Electrolux - is also brain deficient. Well, you have to see him. You will know what I mean...The little daughter has a Lactose Intolerance problem...The wify has a intelligence intolerance issue. Apparently, something that the Swedish medical experts are baffles with. Until this time they thought it was a disorder found only in the brainless south american Iguana.

PS: On Enfaldig's CV, under personel information , it says ''Gluten Intolerant".